Tupac song of the day...

This is how I feel right now...

:-/

How Do you cure anger built up higher than you can handle anymore?...

What happens when all those years of just ignoring things or not saying anything builds up? How do you handle when your secret box of stored emotions is so overfilled it overwelms you to the highest compacity?

You go through the same emotions for YEARS!







These same emotions over..over and over again...Depression, Anger, Frustration.

Well I have experienced this for YEARS. Since childhood I can remember going through these emotions repeatedly and not knowing why. Recently it was brought to my attention that I may have a personality disorder. I decided to look up personality disorders and much to my dismay found one that sounded like myself.

Avoidant personality disorder.

To think of myself as having a disorder...puts me in an even worse place emotionally. It explains a lot, but I don't want it to. I'm tired of having problems....health problems, social problems, etc....to think that I may have a DISORDER...is extremely fucked up.

According to wikipedia you must have at least four of six characteristics.

1. persistent and pervasive feelings of tension and apprehension
2. belief that one is socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
3. excessive preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations
4. unwillingness to become involved with people unless certain of being liked
5. restrictions in lifestyle because of need to have physical security
6. avoidance of social or occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

I indeed can identify with a good five of these characteristics. Which scares me. I don't like dissecting my emotional issues and trying to figure out where they came from. I'd rather just NOT have them.

Just seeing that I identify with 5/6 of these characteristics is enough to concern me. I always knew something was wrong, but I didn't think it would be to this magnitude. I thought I was just different.

Now that I have made this discovery I must figure out how exactly I am going to deal with it. This is going to be excrutiatingly painful.

Campus pictures....

Campus at night can be an interesting thing. It can be busy, peaceful, dark, scary, etc.

Addicted to Media???? Not Really...

I realize with all these classes asking....I am a child of media. Some say it is an addiction, but i see it as a sign of the times. We need to develop the world and realize this change. I am a journalism major and I feel the need to know everything at all times..atleast pertaining to music. Radio, TV, Internet, Magazines...Ipod...Music is my "drug". I feel like when I don't have music I am empty. This is why I'm trying to get into Magazines and Radio. I need music. I don't care much about anything "newsworthy" if it isn't Music/Entertainment. It just doesn't interest me in any way, shape, or form. I don't care about politics, technology, etc. If it doesn't directly affect me I'm not really interested. This is why I get upset with classes that base themselves on Newspapers. I don't find it beneficial to write for them if I myself hate reading them. I read magazines, NOT newspapers. That is what I read, that is what I want to be apart of. They say you should love your job because you will be doing it for a while. That is why when I was younger I chose my profession and refuse to settle for less. If I am interested in magazines and Radio I don't want to be taught about other things which I have no interest in. I feel like it's forcing me to learn this so that that is what I do, BUT I kindly refuse.

Media has been apart of my life for a very long time. As a child I would make my mother buy magazines and would ALWAYS listen to the radio. I watched TV allllll the time. It has just become apart of who I am. I do not say I am addicted, I say it is just apart of who I am and how I function. I need media for my future job and current interests. Media is Me.

Tupac song of the day...

Today's song is Hit Em Up because that first verse it the livest EVERRRR. He really went off on this song. If you're not a Pac fan....I feel bad for you.lol



I def have a Pac obsession. I got 3 tupac books and was tryna watch Juice, Poetic Justice, Tupac Resurection, and Above the Rim online...lol...

TAYLOR GANG OR BUMBLE BEES.LOL...

YESSSSSSSSSSS...My husband Wiz Khalifa (Cameron Jibril Thomaz) JUST signed with Atlantic Records after being independent for some time now. This is his first single on this major label....YESSSS. I love Wiz! He's coming to New York November 13 and YOU KNOWWW I got them tickets already.lol

This song is hot though. A lot of fans are scared that now that he is on a major label he will lose his appeal that we all love so much. He has promised to stay true to himself though. Hopully he doesn't change and they treat him like he needs to be treated! TAYLOR GANG OR DIE!...lol

This is how I feel about being a Taylor!...lol

And I Like Animals..Hannah Montanama..lol...

This is the LIVEST spoof song I have ever heard in my life. I def bust out with this at alll the parties. Me and my friends are addicted.lmfao

Can't Be Friends...

This song is AMAZINGGGG!!!! Shoutout to Mario Winans for producing such a beautiful piece! I swear this song shows the pure growth of Tremaine Aldon Neverson bka Trey Songz. I have been a fan since he was a lil scrawny thing singing "Just Gotta Make It" and seeing this video and hearing this song makes me EXTREMELY proud to have continued being a fan for so long.

CB AND Dueces Remix...

Recently I said Chris was on Ustream premiring songs and telling us about the Deuces remix...Here is that Ustream:





Now in this Ustream he talked about the "Deuces Remix" which was recently released. Reviews have been mixed but mainly positive. I agree with many Chris fans when I say the original is better but the remix is still hot!



Yeah...def still a HOT ASS REMIX!...LOL

WHATTTTT? This is Master P's daughter?....

Damn. When I clicked on this link I was not expecting to hear what I did. I definately underestimated Master P's daughter. Yet watching this disturbed me because I kept thinking "She's 14....soooo she sounds like that and she 14!"....Listen for yourself. This is a HOT song though. She could go really far.

SOULLLLLL AIN'T DEAD!...

Now most people aren't for keeping Soul alive but DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN....This is an amazing song. I rememer when floetry used to show us young kids what soul was. When we had Jill Scott and India Irie. YESSSSSSSS. Tis is definately a hit...now I need to listen to floetry.lol

She said look ma, no hands....lol...

This song is real catchy. Didn't pay it much attention until my friend WOULD NOT stop singing it and I had to listen for myself.lol...I like Waka though, and Wale and Roscoe Dash..sooooo it's only right that I like this song.lol

It's Gucci Time!...

My favorite Gucci song right now. This song bumps HARDDDDDD. I swear this is the feature Gucci needed to gain more respect. People who don't like Gucci definately say this song is a hit. I agree 100%. This is the first single off of Gucci's new album "The Appeal". I'm definately excited to see how his music has grown from the last album!

New Shontelle...

I don't really listen to Shontelle, but this song is good. It's has more of a club feel than I thought, but all in all I'd probablly put it on my pod.

Get Em CiCi!..

Now everyone can say what they want about Ciara, but this here is my SONG. I'm proud of how she's grown from "Goodies" to "Speechless". All that she has had to endure these years from her relationships with Bow Wow and 50 Cent being public to people critisizing her voice. She may not be a Beyonce, but Ciara is a BOMB entertainer. I compare her to Janet Jackson because even though Janet couldn't really sing like Michael she definately had the entertainment capabilities so that you didn't care or notice. Ciara and Chris Brown are like Janet and Michael of Today (in my opinion).

Make sure you get her new album "Basic Instinct"!!!!!

MMMMMM Pink Nuggets???....Ilkkkk....

http://www.gizmodo.com/5654066/chicken-nuggets-are-made-from-this-pink-chicken-goop


So basically this is how chicken nuggets are made. This is extremely disgusting. I will not eat nuggets after this. Stuff like this is what opens peoples eyes to the disgusting methods of processed foods.