Chris Brown...

Since every FAKE blogging baffoon feels the need to "blog" about Christopher Maurice Brown...I felt as someone who actually knows something about anything should as well. Chris is a man who made a mistake..ok....ALL fuccing men make mistakes whether big or small...Yea ok..he hit Rihanna....that's a factor we cannot take away, but when will we realize...not everyone who does bad things is a bad person. We've all done bad things, but I'm sure we don't see ourselves as bad people!

Personally I'm tired of hearing how Chris is this and how he's that. Can we move on please. It was an incident we should not have been involved in and still shouldn't. It just frustrates me because I want to see him progress and be happy sooo badly, but they just won't let him be. I HATE society for that. Judging people for things they probably do themselves. It's disgusting.

They tryna say he's a "diva" because he put so much music out and is working SO FUCCING HARD for that asshole to tell him he has no fuccin hits...I swear...Keep your personal opinion out of your job....some people should just not have the job that they do.

I hope Chris can move on from this and when I get up there in the industry I'll be there for him myself.

Chistopher Maurice Brown is like MJ to me...I Love him dearly and will never leave his side...

Education...

As much as I like to learn...I am easily bored. I need engagement....that's impossible to find these days. I found myself slipping this semester because I felt overwelmed and unengaged. Schools should be more interactive with their classes and students would be far better off. I'm a creative mind that LOVES hands on...they should capitalize off that...

Just Thinking...

Days like these I wish I lived in Cali or something. Where I could go to the beach at night and just think as I overlook the ocean. Just thinking about what it would be like to just have a guy in my life. No relationship or nothing. Just a special guy in my life. Sumtimes you just wanna be held or hold a convo with someone. Just wondering if that'll ever happen for me. Somebody to just chill with and fall asleep next to. It would be nice.

I Love My Music...

How is it that music can run so deep in my veins and soul. I love music more than anything in this world. There are posers and fakers that SAY they love music but can't name any old school artist cept latifah, ll cool j, slick rick, etc. I mean my mission is to study music and know as much of it as humanly possible. I just love it too much. It makes my moods better, calms my nerves, eases my pain, etc. Music is the best invention God could have given us. All music just makes me feel good. But old school....ESPECIALLY THE 90'S since I'm such a fuccin 90's obsessed chick...lol... Old School music makes my soul flutter....I just remember my childhood which was so fuccin stress free. I would get out more and just have fun. *Sigh*.....Damn I love Music.....

Headphones...

When I blast dat good stuff,
It makes everything ok,
So addicted that nature makes me paranoid,
My bestest friend,
The beats take me in,
The words express my feelings,
I just listen and get caught up in its beauty,
General conversation is hard to find,
So I converse through my music,
And it talks back....
My headphones,
Those wonderful things,
Are my gateway to heaven....

Why Can't I Be Respected?

I'm a 18 almost 19 year old college student struggling and dealing with what is coming at me and can't seem to be respected for that. Especially by guys. They claim they want a good girl, but when there's a chick like me staying true to er standards and morals and especially herself I get no respect or acknowledgement. I honestly do not understand at all. Then complain about the type of woman you deal with. You can't wife a hoe...I'm sorry. So do not look for the ones that'll give it up to you and expect them to be wifey material...smmfh

My Grandfather...

When the person you miss the most in life is also the person you feel loved you the most what do you do? When you burst into tears at the mere thought of the greatest thing you've lost. My grandfather was the most wonderful man I ever had in my life. Despite his alcohol addiction he would treat me as if I was special, important, and loved. To know in my heart that that damn alcohol killed my grandfather is the sole reason for me not drinking, smoking or anything else. I hate it..I hate what it has taken from me. I replay the day of his death so clearly in my head when I can't remember what I did yesterday. It amazes me that I remember that May 14, 2002 so well. I came home from school, turned on the tv and decided to make a sandwich. Bacon, lettuce, and pickles. We had no pickles so I went next door and asked my grandfather if I could use theirs. He let me (of course) and then I gave him a hug and as I left I told him I love him and goodbye. To now realize that I had said goodbye forever is one of the most painful things in my life. A little later my grandmother came over hysterical yelling "there's something wrong with your father!" to my mom over and over. They went next door while me and my sister stayed at our house. We wanted to know what was happening so we agreed that she would go over. She came back and said they wouldn't let her see anything. We looked out the window at the 3 (or 4) firetrucks, ambulences, and police cars infront of our house wondering wtf was going on. Then we saw our grandfather on the stretcher...shaking. I was confused and didn't know what to think. Then my mom, grandmother and uncle told us to sta with our friend down the street til they got back. I was young and figured he'd be fine so I thought nothing of it. When they got back I ran onto the steps and they said my grandfather passed. I laughed at the obsurdity of their statements and went upstairs to get my stuff. For the next two weeks we had non stop visitors...I had NO emotion what so ever. I just knew my grandfather wasn't dead. I was the only one who didn't cry. When the funeral came I was told to write something about him for the program. The service was ok I guess. I saw him in the casket, stared, and cried 2 tears. I hugged him and sat down. I ws seated next to my grandma and she had a spiritual fit. Her cries were deeper than anything I've ever heard in my life. They pushed me aside to console her. After that day I was pretty quiet. Eventually my eotions started to show. I would zone out nd just cry. To this day I cry over my grandfather and think of all he did for me. It isn't fair that the ONE person who ever made you feel worth anything...dies. This is why alcohol, smoking, and drug are my enemy. I will NEVER partake in any of it. They killed my grandfather and stole a whole piece of my heart as well. RIP CHARLES AUGUSTUS PHILLIPS...even though it's hard as hell to know I can't bring you back...I will try not to let you down. I love you more than I ever loved myself.... :(

What is required...

The more I set myself back the more I think about how I'm screwing myself in the future. When people expect me to be this awsome writer I say "I write what I please and I write for me and only me." There's a fine line between your passion and what is required of you. Don't lose your passion because you mixed the two....be yourself for yourself and only take requirements as requirements...

Dreams...Unspoken...

Dreams.....unspoken...unheard,
Clouds and mountains,
Pleasure and pain,
With every elevating step,
Comes sun..and then rain,
Pressure gets tighter as you near the top,
So easy to start,
Even easier to stop,
Never clear skies,
Grey confusion surrounds the positivity of a dream,
You may not see it,
But it's there,
And as you get closer and closer,
God puts down a stair.

Intro...

Aight so I'm new to this blogging thing, but as a very opinionated young black FEMALE journalist...thought I should make one. lol. Basically I'm a young college student trying to pursue her dreams as a radio vj and magazine writer. I like music and writing...a lot. lol...Pretty much I hate FAKE journalists (mediatakeout, sandra rose, tmz, etc.). If you write a story and I know for a FACT you're wrong...I'll get pissed. So I pretty much want to change the game and get facts straight....VIBE is my dream others I can settle for....lol...but yea...I speak a lot of real shyt so if you wanna get the REAL...hit da blog up.