Taylor Gang or freakin DIE!...

If you didn't know I was a huge Wiz Khalifa fan than you don't know me at all.

I went to his New York stop on the Waken Baken tour and it was amazing. Wiz is one of those artists that make you love him more after leaving a concert. His swag is STUUUUUUUUPID, his energy is crazy, and he's just so down to earth.

I have all his mixtapes and his album...he's is right next to Chris Brown to me...(if you know me you know that is freakin huge.lol). I left this concert in high energy an pure love for this man Cameron Jibril Thomaz...aka Wiz Khalifa.

Here's some footage!

Tupac song of the day...

This is how I feel right now...

:-/

How Do you cure anger built up higher than you can handle anymore?...

What happens when all those years of just ignoring things or not saying anything builds up? How do you handle when your secret box of stored emotions is so overfilled it overwelms you to the highest compacity?

You go through the same emotions for YEARS!







These same emotions over..over and over again...Depression, Anger, Frustration.

Well I have experienced this for YEARS. Since childhood I can remember going through these emotions repeatedly and not knowing why. Recently it was brought to my attention that I may have a personality disorder. I decided to look up personality disorders and much to my dismay found one that sounded like myself.

Avoidant personality disorder.

To think of myself as having a disorder...puts me in an even worse place emotionally. It explains a lot, but I don't want it to. I'm tired of having problems....health problems, social problems, etc....to think that I may have a DISORDER...is extremely fucked up.

According to wikipedia you must have at least four of six characteristics.

1. persistent and pervasive feelings of tension and apprehension
2. belief that one is socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
3. excessive preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations
4. unwillingness to become involved with people unless certain of being liked
5. restrictions in lifestyle because of need to have physical security
6. avoidance of social or occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

I indeed can identify with a good five of these characteristics. Which scares me. I don't like dissecting my emotional issues and trying to figure out where they came from. I'd rather just NOT have them.

Just seeing that I identify with 5/6 of these characteristics is enough to concern me. I always knew something was wrong, but I didn't think it would be to this magnitude. I thought I was just different.

Now that I have made this discovery I must figure out how exactly I am going to deal with it. This is going to be excrutiatingly painful.

Campus pictures....

Campus at night can be an interesting thing. It can be busy, peaceful, dark, scary, etc.

Addicted to Media???? Not Really...

I realize with all these classes asking....I am a child of media. Some say it is an addiction, but i see it as a sign of the times. We need to develop the world and realize this change. I am a journalism major and I feel the need to know everything at all times..atleast pertaining to music. Radio, TV, Internet, Magazines...Ipod...Music is my "drug". I feel like when I don't have music I am empty. This is why I'm trying to get into Magazines and Radio. I need music. I don't care much about anything "newsworthy" if it isn't Music/Entertainment. It just doesn't interest me in any way, shape, or form. I don't care about politics, technology, etc. If it doesn't directly affect me I'm not really interested. This is why I get upset with classes that base themselves on Newspapers. I don't find it beneficial to write for them if I myself hate reading them. I read magazines, NOT newspapers. That is what I read, that is what I want to be apart of. They say you should love your job because you will be doing it for a while. That is why when I was younger I chose my profession and refuse to settle for less. If I am interested in magazines and Radio I don't want to be taught about other things which I have no interest in. I feel like it's forcing me to learn this so that that is what I do, BUT I kindly refuse.

Media has been apart of my life for a very long time. As a child I would make my mother buy magazines and would ALWAYS listen to the radio. I watched TV allllll the time. It has just become apart of who I am. I do not say I am addicted, I say it is just apart of who I am and how I function. I need media for my future job and current interests. Media is Me.

Tupac song of the day...

Today's song is Hit Em Up because that first verse it the livest EVERRRR. He really went off on this song. If you're not a Pac fan....I feel bad for you.lol



I def have a Pac obsession. I got 3 tupac books and was tryna watch Juice, Poetic Justice, Tupac Resurection, and Above the Rim online...lol...

TAYLOR GANG OR BUMBLE BEES.LOL...

YESSSSSSSSSSS...My husband Wiz Khalifa (Cameron Jibril Thomaz) JUST signed with Atlantic Records after being independent for some time now. This is his first single on this major label....YESSSS. I love Wiz! He's coming to New York November 13 and YOU KNOWWW I got them tickets already.lol

This song is hot though. A lot of fans are scared that now that he is on a major label he will lose his appeal that we all love so much. He has promised to stay true to himself though. Hopully he doesn't change and they treat him like he needs to be treated! TAYLOR GANG OR DIE!...lol

This is how I feel about being a Taylor!...lol

And I Like Animals..Hannah Montanama..lol...

This is the LIVEST spoof song I have ever heard in my life. I def bust out with this at alll the parties. Me and my friends are addicted.lmfao

Can't Be Friends...

This song is AMAZINGGGG!!!! Shoutout to Mario Winans for producing such a beautiful piece! I swear this song shows the pure growth of Tremaine Aldon Neverson bka Trey Songz. I have been a fan since he was a lil scrawny thing singing "Just Gotta Make It" and seeing this video and hearing this song makes me EXTREMELY proud to have continued being a fan for so long.

CB AND Dueces Remix...

Recently I said Chris was on Ustream premiring songs and telling us about the Deuces remix...Here is that Ustream:





Now in this Ustream he talked about the "Deuces Remix" which was recently released. Reviews have been mixed but mainly positive. I agree with many Chris fans when I say the original is better but the remix is still hot!



Yeah...def still a HOT ASS REMIX!...LOL

WHATTTTT? This is Master P's daughter?....

Damn. When I clicked on this link I was not expecting to hear what I did. I definately underestimated Master P's daughter. Yet watching this disturbed me because I kept thinking "She's 14....soooo she sounds like that and she 14!"....Listen for yourself. This is a HOT song though. She could go really far.

SOULLLLLL AIN'T DEAD!...

Now most people aren't for keeping Soul alive but DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN....This is an amazing song. I rememer when floetry used to show us young kids what soul was. When we had Jill Scott and India Irie. YESSSSSSSS. Tis is definately a hit...now I need to listen to floetry.lol

She said look ma, no hands....lol...

This song is real catchy. Didn't pay it much attention until my friend WOULD NOT stop singing it and I had to listen for myself.lol...I like Waka though, and Wale and Roscoe Dash..sooooo it's only right that I like this song.lol

It's Gucci Time!...

My favorite Gucci song right now. This song bumps HARDDDDDD. I swear this is the feature Gucci needed to gain more respect. People who don't like Gucci definately say this song is a hit. I agree 100%. This is the first single off of Gucci's new album "The Appeal". I'm definately excited to see how his music has grown from the last album!

New Shontelle...

I don't really listen to Shontelle, but this song is good. It's has more of a club feel than I thought, but all in all I'd probablly put it on my pod.

Get Em CiCi!..

Now everyone can say what they want about Ciara, but this here is my SONG. I'm proud of how she's grown from "Goodies" to "Speechless". All that she has had to endure these years from her relationships with Bow Wow and 50 Cent being public to people critisizing her voice. She may not be a Beyonce, but Ciara is a BOMB entertainer. I compare her to Janet Jackson because even though Janet couldn't really sing like Michael she definately had the entertainment capabilities so that you didn't care or notice. Ciara and Chris Brown are like Janet and Michael of Today (in my opinion).

Make sure you get her new album "Basic Instinct"!!!!!

MMMMMM Pink Nuggets???....Ilkkkk....

http://www.gizmodo.com/5654066/chicken-nuggets-are-made-from-this-pink-chicken-goop


So basically this is how chicken nuggets are made. This is extremely disgusting. I will not eat nuggets after this. Stuff like this is what opens peoples eyes to the disgusting methods of processed foods.

Chris Brown is BACK!!...

Chris Brown is doing it big these days. With his movie Takers selling $50 million and his mixtape single "Deuces" still rocking the charts it's safe to say our boy is BACK!

Brown recently gave the name of his up-coming album which will be titled "FAME" after his new tattoo and motto "Forgiving All My Enemies". A new song is being featured on radios one at a time called "Yeah 3x". A very techno, pop feel, yet definately a Chris Brown hit. He has stated that he will have two singles, a pop single "Yeah 3x" and an urban single "Calypso". With all these new things piling on fans (#teambreezy) has plenty to go nuts over.

He also released the names of those featured on the soon to be released "Deuces (Remix)". He has named Drake, Kanye West, Andre 3000, Fabolous, and T.I. as those featuring on this crazy hot remix coming soon. This just blew everyone, including myself, the hell away.lol

Just yesterday he released his long awaited video for the song "Matrix". He also went on ustream for the premiere of that video. The video costs 2.99 to watch on his blog (www.mechanicaldummy.com). A portion of the proceeds go to his new foundation, Symphonic Love Foundation.



So much going on with Chris Brown these days in so little time. I told you he's back.lol

Wiki Assignment...

This article by ABC News provides the latest on the anti-homosexual bishop of Atlanta, Georgia, Bishop Eddie Long. Long is accused of sexual abuse by 4 men of his church who say it had been happening since they were teens. He has recently come out and stated that he will fight these allegations and with his congregation standing behind him it is hard to foresee how this will end.

Click Here to read article: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/bishop-eddie-long-defend-sex-abuse-accusations/story?id=11733775

Media diary...

My normal day consists of me waking up at 8:55 (10:30 on weekends) and taking a 15min shower. Then I get on my computer to check Facebook and Twitter to see if I missed anything important while I was asleep. If not I will just roam the net or finish any homework have for that day. After this I go to class around 10:00/10:05 and depending on the class I might get back on the computer sometime during one or two of my three back to back classes each day. Mostly I state how completely bored I am.

I tend to text people in between classes to see where they are and what we are doing right after my next class. We could be zooming to the Jamaica shuttle or just talking and having fun in Marillac, but it’s always good to know. As I walk to each class I listen to my iPod because it is my life. I can live without a phone and IF FORCED a computer (not long), but I am empty and become nutty without my iPod. I am definitely a music junkie. I have been since I was younger carrying around a CD player everywhere.

When classes are over and I go back to my room. I tend to go online and stay on twitter, Facebook, World Star Hip-Hop, Vibe, etc for a long time. I like to catch up with the music/entertainment world. I am always watching videos on YouTube.

I didn’t need this media diary to see how much I consume media. I am a Journalism major for a reason. It has been in my DNA since I was younger. Most people when asked are quite modest in their answers. I will tell you that Media is my life. It is all I do, speak, watch, consume, etc. I love Media and I don’t think it’s an addiction. I think it is not only preparing me in my future field, but just a sign of the times. We are media savvy people in 2010. If it was such a big issue we wouldn’t create new forms of media every day.

iBED?????....

http://gizmodo.com/5645315/the-most-comfortable-ipad-dock-money-can-buy

Apparently Hollandia has created a iPad compatible BED. This Bed costs $20,000. I think that this Bed is ridiculous. There is a difference between luxury and non-sense. An iPad compatible BED is just too much. I mean the iPad is bad enough. We make a huge version of the iPod and call it something different to get more money, now there's a BED for it. That's a bit much.

Miguel...Jontel....LOVE HIM!...

Miguel Jontel is finding new found success even though he has been around for a while. I have known about him for 3 or 4 years and he is JUST now getting mainstream airply, but that's another story(lol). I have been in love with this gorgeous half black half mexican man since I heard the song above. His voice is just so smooth and easy. I would say he's knd of like a male sade or erykah badu, sound wise.

Much to my excitment he will be in NYC this week. I am going to see him Tuesday 9/21 at 106 and Park AND afterwards at a club in Queens. I'm so proud of him. I always have an emotional attachment to artists I discover and love before the world experiences their talent. When I watch them grown and gain success I feel like a proud parent. I'm Happy for Miguel, he is definately one of the artists I used to scream about saying he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. True talent should NEVER go unnoticed.

Here is his Debut single "All I Wwant is You" ft. J. Cole(who will also be at 106)...

Foo...effin...FIGHTERS...

I just felt like expressing how great of a group the Foo Fighters are. They have been around since 1995 and I still think they are one of the greatest Alternative rock bands on the face of this EARTH. I just loveeee me some Dave Grohl. His voice is just....mesmerizing. I am obsessed with Drums and Electric Guitars (all Guitars, but mostly electric and bass). The sound they give off is just the most amazing sound you can ever hear. It brings out the emotional attachment to the music.

The Foo Fighters are great with words and stirring emotions with their music. When you listen to "The Best of You" you can feel what Dave is saying. I know I do. I absolutely love that song and how it makes you think of something you love or enjoy being enjoyed/loved by someone else. It is about a partner in the song, but it can relate to life, a dream, a crush, just about anything. It means different things to me when I listen to it. It all depends on how I feel. Which is what most of the Foo Fighters music does. It can soothe you or just get you thinking no matter what the situation.

I love "Best of You", "Learn to Fly", "The Pretender", "M.I.A.", All My Life", "Let It Die", and my FAV FAV FAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV song "My Hero". When I listen to "My Hero" I just think of all the ordinary people that extraordinarily transform and shape who I am and/or how I see the world. I think of all the people I look up to famous or not. I think of My Mom, My Grandmother, My Grandfather(RIP), Chris Brown, Teyana Taylor, etc. I think of people that I can look at and admire for the strength that they show and all that they endure. I think of how my mom struggles to raise me and my little sister and brother. I think of how my grandmother has always helped her through it. I think of how I want to make my grandfather proud in heaven and be nothing like him, yet exactly like him at the same time. I think of how my favorite artist Chris Brown endures so much and is preveiling through all his struggles and mistakes and hardships thus far. I think of how Teyana Taylor may be the ONLY person my age that thinks just like I do and how even though I don't know her personally I know I have found SOMEONE in this world that can relate to me and how I think. It just evokes a series of thoughts and emotions and that is part of why I love the Foo Fighters so much. Not a lot of people can bring out the best inside of me and bring it upfront with just their music.

My of my favorite songs ever...

I freakin Love Hayley!...lol...

Ok...a lot of people don't understand I listen to the livest of freakin music. I listen to Chris Brown, Treysongz, Kid Cudi, Wiz Khalifa, Green Day, Linkin Park, FOO FIGHTERS(i'll discuss my sheer and utter love for them in another post.lol), etc. I listen to different types of music. That is how my mom raised me. Now when I say this band is one of my all time favorites I mean it.

....Paramore is one of the best bands EVER. Hayley Williams is AWSOME. She is the lead singer of the band and has recently been featured on B.o.B.'s song "Airaplanes".

Their new album Brown New Eyes is a great one. Everything they put out, to me, is good quality music. You can relate to it and it is just that kind of music you can listen to to make you think or to comfort. I personally am in LOVE with their single "The Only Exception". This song is a beautiful way of telling someone that you never used to believe in love because all that love was "supposed" to be around you fell apart. Basically telling that person that they are the only reason you believe in love. I may not be in love with anyone, but I damn sure am in love with this song and this group.

Here is the AMAZING song:



Make sure you buy their album in stores now "Brown New Eyes"!

Scott Mescudi......Huh?...

For those of you that don't know who Scot Mescudi is you may know his stage name....Kid Cudi.

He's coming back with a new album and no matter who doesn't like him, you have to admit he is pretty damn good. Me myself being a HUGEEEE Cudi fan (one of my husbands...lol)I am completely excited about his new album coming out. I have been singing Mr. Rager for a good 2/3 months now. Even though I missed his performance in New York recently I am still convinced his live show is bomb (youtube ladies and gents).

His new album is entitled Man On The Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager. There was a promotional track "REVOFEV", which means Revolution of Evolution, that dropped this summer. His song "Mr. Rager" was also released. His official first single is "Erase Me" ft. Kanye West. I just love KId Cudi, but Mr. Rager is my freakin SONG...lol. Here are the songs below:





And the bestest...lol...

Anniversary of Tupac Shakur's death...

Monday Sept. 13, 2010 was the 14th anniversary of Tupac Amaru Shakur's death. To me this is unbelievable. I can't bring myself to believe that the greatest rapper to have EVER lived has been dead 14 years. His music lives on so deep it's hard to believe it was so long ago that he stopped making music. That is one of the reasons I love Tupac. He had different aspects of himself that showed in his music. He had the gangsta, the informant, the son, the hurt young man from the ghetto, the fatherless child, etc. He didn't try to give everyone gangsta Pac all the time. Some of my favorite Tupac songs are: Ambitionz Az A Ridah, All About You, How Do You Want It, Holla At Me, Rather Be Your N.I.G.G.A., All Eyez On Me, Only God Can Judge Me, Me Against The World, So Many Tears, Fuck The World, etc. There are just so many songs that pour out emotion. I love how no matter what he talked about he said it with his heart. One of my favorite movies of all time is Poetic Justice. Tupac and Janet were amazing in that movie. I fell in love with him even more after watching that movie. And one of my favorite books ever is "Inside A Thugs Heart" which is a book about a woman named Angela Ardis who got in contact with Tupac in jail and became his pen pal. The poems he wrote in that book were simply AMAZING. I love his wordplay, his voice conviction, etc. He was just an amazing artist that was put in situations he couldn't help. He was a true product of his environment and unfortunately that led to us losing a beautiful human being. I love and miss Tupac and will continue to love him not for his "image" but the man who spoke words straight from his heart and didn't wear his heart on his sleeve, but showed you no matter how a man may apprear there is always more to him.

R.I.P. TUPAC!

Kanye West coming back strong...

If anyone watched the 2010 VMA's they know that one of the best performances of the night had to be by none other than Kanye West. The song runaway was extremely powerful that night because it was a year after his outburst during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech.

I don't know about anyone else, but I got over than incident quickly after if happened. I think Kanye is a musical genius. He always finds a way to capture us all over again with his music. Recently he put out the song "Monster" which features Jay-z, Rick Ross and the lovely Nicki Minaj. This song is CRAZY. This has to be one of Nicki Minaj's craziest features yet. Below is "Monster"...



Now at the awards Kanye performed his new song "Runaway" featuring Pusha T of The Clipse. This song left everybody singing "Let's make a toast to the douchebags, Let's make a toast to the assholes..." all night. I know I was. Here's "Runaway"...



All I have to say is KANYE IS BACK and he is not playing ANY games!...lol

Apple eases app restrictions...

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE68835V20100909

Steve Jobs was said to have slammed flash techhnology and had a ban on using it to make apps foe the iphone and ipad. Now Apple has decied to lift those bans. They will allow the use of flash technology but will not accept offensive or inappropriate content or apps that look as if they were rushed.

Although they did not name any company, Adobe was appreciative for the lift of the ban. I think that lifting the ban was a good idea because that ban allowed google and the android to start to catch up with apple and the iphone/ipad. It wasn't smart business wise because then the android would catch up and eventually outdue the iphone/ipad.

Nicki Minaj Album 11/23/2010...

Nicki Minaj is one of the biggest female stars today. Her fame grew higher after she signed with Lil Wwayne's Young Money and started featuring in hit songs left and right. If she has anything...ANYTHING at all, it is a large repertoire of features. With only two singles out (Massive Attacks & Your Love) Ms. Minaj (real name Onika Miraj)has done what so many struggle to do....grind. You can sit around and wait for things to happen, but in the music business today YOU have to market yourself and put yourself out there for the world to see. She has done just that.

Her highly anticipated album Pink Friday is already getting fans excited. You can see pink friday twitcons and contests every friday for a follow from Nicki herself. This album is definately just like her labelmate Drake. The buzz was incredible and the album was hungered for. I think the same goes for Nicki.

Kat Stacks VS. Chris Brown...

Now everybody knows Kat Stacks is one of the most hated women on earth. She's a wannabe Superhead with FAR LESS class (if that's even possible). The poor thing sounds as uneducated as it comes. But this isn't about how completely ignorant and disgusting she is. This is about her trying to come at Chris Brown on twitter. Now everybody knows that I'm a HUGE Chris Brown fan. So I just found this whole thing hilarious. He roasted her so bad all while saying he wouldn't be caught DEAD sleeping with Kat Stacks. That was actually one of his jokes. He posted a picture of a coffin and said "This is what happens when you have sex with Kat Stacks...seriously".

I personally think that Kat Stacks is just a poor unfortunate soul that needs to seperate herself from the world and get it together. She has "twitter beefed" with the likes of Bow Wow and The Game(on numerous occasions). She just needs to take care of her child and not try to make herself out to be so big. She is JUST a loose woman going around bragging about her infidelities. Hardships DO NOT equal hoe actions. I don't see that as an excuse. You LET it become an excuse when you simply live your life without wanting more or trying to change for the better.

Have I Ever Told You...

Have I ever told you how much you mean to me,
How you are such a dream to me,
A king,
Your Queen I desire to be,
Something to special for others to see,
Perfection,
In its fallacy.

Have I ever told you I care for you,
Want to be there for you,
To love,
To hold,
To cry on,
You be that which is a true man,
And I the ideal woman.

Have I ever told you how you make me feel,
Like life is worth living,
As if earth has stood still,
Time has stopped,
Rain pauses when it is supposed to drop.

Have I ever told you...
...How much I love you.

In Your Eyes...

What does it take to be beautiful in your eyes?
How can I convince you that I am worthy?
Is it that I don't deserve you?
Why can't I love you like I want to?
Am I not permitted to love?
Can I be happy?
Should I just give up trying to give you my all?
Willing to give you everything in return for very litle,
Selling myself short just to please you,
Looking in the mirror confused,
Thinking "Why don't you love me?",
So pathetic of me,
To be the way I am,
Talking to the mirror,
Hoping that girl can understand,
I just want her to love me.

Dreams don't help anymore...

What happens when dreams can no longer supress the pain of reality? What do you have left when music cannot console you as it used to? When you're trapped somewhere you just DO NOT want to be?

You get overly depressed so often you would rather live on the street and walk around homeless than painfully stay secluded to a place you hate. I never understood why God made me the wreck that I am. Why do I have to dream so much about things that will never...NEVER happen? Can't I just live life miserable? Why is THAT pain not enough and why do I constantly question life?

I hate the fact that I cannot find peace.....I will forever be the emotional wreck that I am that hates everything about herself and her life. I just don't find it fair...

My dreams don't help anymore..they just give me false hope for when I open my eyes and realize life can NEVER be the way it was in my dreams...

To be accepted...

To long for acceptance,
Is to lose yourself in the process,
You can sit and wait for them to love YOU,
Or you can sit and love yourself and they can wait for you to care.

For CB...

Love is a strong emotion. I can truely say that I love you. As an artist and human being. I may not know everything about you...but I know I love you. I support you whole-heartedly. I argue with friends that talk bad about you. It's not because I'm obsessed or whatever people call supporting these days. It's because I feel that the ONE true talented artist that is bringing EVERYTHING to the table is being judged and ridiculed before my eyes. I hate it. I am 19.....in college and a HUGE CB fan. Many have an issue with that. I tweet about you so much people I know decide to unfollow me. But I feel they will be there or they won't. The support I feel you deserve and need is up to me to give dispite what people say or think. Music has been my only option. My bestfriend through everything. When I was going through some serious stress and issues freshman year of highschool I remember making my own mixed cd of all your songs. I could not sleep unless I had it playing. I had nothing but a big radio/stereo. I would put my pillow aside and replace it with my stereo...Because I shared a room with my little sister I had to keep it low, but I would consentrate hard on your words because of it.

Chris you deserve to be the great artist you are...without the world's opinions or set backs. I have seen you grow SO MUCH and develop into a great young man. Many like to bring up your mistake when I say I love you, but to judge a person by ONE mistake in their short life of all the many they and everyone else is destined to make is ridiculous. I watch as all the people around me do the mst stupid and insulting things to others...yet they fixate on making it about you. You are the world excuse to do their dirt. Ask them why they judge you? They will cry freedom of opinion. Ask them why they write so much about you? They will cry freedom of the press. Ask them why they don't forgive you? They will cry to protect others that are "abused". Ask them why they push you down? I bet they will never tell you it is because they are trying to push themselves up.

I can see through the press. I'm a Journalism major. I study people without them noticing. I see through all the bullshit. One thing I can also see through is you. People will try and make you out as just another cocky, arrogant artist. I for one have NEVER seen that. I've seen a young man that likes to joke around. I have never seen you "stunt" on ANYONE....atleast not by SAYING it..lol...I just cannot understand the world's reasons....why do they feel that you don't serve a second chance. Besides the fact it was NO ONES business in the first place (don't get me started). I can see in all your pictures and just you lately that you are suffering. You are a man so hidding it is what you do..atleast most of the time, but your eyes tell me different love. They tell me you are tired, you are drained of proving yourself. And I, for one, am too. I just want to tll you to keep your head up. You ARE LOVED. I am trying my hardest to do what I can for you and support. But in the meantime you NEVER give up...on yourself or the world. WE live in a fucked up socirty Chris...trust me..I know...but as long as you do what you love and keep your mind with God and the people who love you, you will be ok. So let's start rebuilding your empire....We shall stunt on these haters when we climb back up...<3

Love,
Danielle C.

(And remember...#Teambreezy got you hun...we shall try to do all we can <3)

Beauty...To Me...

Darkness, softly lite by the moon,
Colors of intricate design,
The glow of those lights and the nights beauty,
The feeling of warmth, peace...happiness,
Daytime holds no power,
The sun shines and all that is...is hidden,
Yet when the night surfaces,
It becomes home to the forbidden,
You are not to feel peace or calm sense of mind,
Til the bright lights and colors,
Bring out feelings and emotions of that kind,
With just a glow and a smile,
Clouds no where in sight,
Stars by the millions,
All shining bright,
Darkness isn't to be feared,
For if there was no darkness,
When would we have time to STOP,
Sit, Think, Love,
And Care.

Chris Brown...

I know people call me crazy, stalker, etc BLAH...but Christopher Maurice Brown truely does do something to me. You gotta put it this way, when all the men around you are on that bullshyt and chasing after hoes then complaining about them afterwards who are you going to gravitate towards more...them...or a sexy ass singer around your age kind of in your future field blowing your mind and heart away?.......exactly.

The love I have for him is like this...I understand my role as a fan/SUPPORTER/stan....yet if I were given the chance there would be no questions, concerns or doubts....lol....

His recent videos have caused quite a stir between fans. The "Deuces" video ft. Tyga and Kevin McCall was a very mellow yet swagga filled video. Chris danced his heart out, Tyga gave us a sick verse on love while lookin scrumptious and Kevin's verse just killed anyone who doubted his talent. Not to mention he wrote and produced the song...Heres "Deuces"...

Video Debut Chris Brown ft. Tyga & Kevin McCall – ‘DEUCES’ from Gloob Marketing on Vimeo.

NOW....the next video was just...breathe taking...lol...Chris Brown's "No Bullshit" video outdid Trey in MANY ways. I always watched "Invented Sex" and "Neighbors Know My Name" in awe yet wishing it were Chris. I definately got my wish...lol...Chris gave us sexy and just downright FREAKY. Which we all knew he was...yet we needed a LILLLLL bit of proof....here is our proof (which still gives me goosebumps n breezygasims...lol)...

Chris Brown - No Bullshit from Tony STarks on Vimeo.

Jamaica...

Everyone jokes and expresses their feelings about me being only half Jamaican, but in my mind the one drop rule applies..I am Jamaican, I am proud. Now..the issue going on down there was recently brought to my attention and I was extremely displeased. Warlords and crime and drugs is what is falls down to. The same shyt over and over polluting and killing my people. I wish greedy people would find other ways to make money. Is it that easy to say "I want to just put my people down by selling drugs and bribing the community"? I will never understand it, but I do know that I pray to GOD it ends soon. All the death and the shooting all the madness is just not worth it at all. The peson causing this madness is just not worth it at all. I hope GOD hears our prayers and their cries. I <3 JAMAICA!!!!!

Chris Brown...

Since every FAKE blogging baffoon feels the need to "blog" about Christopher Maurice Brown...I felt as someone who actually knows something about anything should as well. Chris is a man who made a mistake..ok....ALL fuccing men make mistakes whether big or small...Yea ok..he hit Rihanna....that's a factor we cannot take away, but when will we realize...not everyone who does bad things is a bad person. We've all done bad things, but I'm sure we don't see ourselves as bad people!

Personally I'm tired of hearing how Chris is this and how he's that. Can we move on please. It was an incident we should not have been involved in and still shouldn't. It just frustrates me because I want to see him progress and be happy sooo badly, but they just won't let him be. I HATE society for that. Judging people for things they probably do themselves. It's disgusting.

They tryna say he's a "diva" because he put so much music out and is working SO FUCCING HARD for that asshole to tell him he has no fuccin hits...I swear...Keep your personal opinion out of your job....some people should just not have the job that they do.

I hope Chris can move on from this and when I get up there in the industry I'll be there for him myself.

Chistopher Maurice Brown is like MJ to me...I Love him dearly and will never leave his side...

Education...

As much as I like to learn...I am easily bored. I need engagement....that's impossible to find these days. I found myself slipping this semester because I felt overwelmed and unengaged. Schools should be more interactive with their classes and students would be far better off. I'm a creative mind that LOVES hands on...they should capitalize off that...

Just Thinking...

Days like these I wish I lived in Cali or something. Where I could go to the beach at night and just think as I overlook the ocean. Just thinking about what it would be like to just have a guy in my life. No relationship or nothing. Just a special guy in my life. Sumtimes you just wanna be held or hold a convo with someone. Just wondering if that'll ever happen for me. Somebody to just chill with and fall asleep next to. It would be nice.

I Love My Music...

How is it that music can run so deep in my veins and soul. I love music more than anything in this world. There are posers and fakers that SAY they love music but can't name any old school artist cept latifah, ll cool j, slick rick, etc. I mean my mission is to study music and know as much of it as humanly possible. I just love it too much. It makes my moods better, calms my nerves, eases my pain, etc. Music is the best invention God could have given us. All music just makes me feel good. But old school....ESPECIALLY THE 90'S since I'm such a fuccin 90's obsessed chick...lol... Old School music makes my soul flutter....I just remember my childhood which was so fuccin stress free. I would get out more and just have fun. *Sigh*.....Damn I love Music.....

Headphones...

When I blast dat good stuff,
It makes everything ok,
So addicted that nature makes me paranoid,
My bestest friend,
The beats take me in,
The words express my feelings,
I just listen and get caught up in its beauty,
General conversation is hard to find,
So I converse through my music,
And it talks back....
My headphones,
Those wonderful things,
Are my gateway to heaven....

Why Can't I Be Respected?

I'm a 18 almost 19 year old college student struggling and dealing with what is coming at me and can't seem to be respected for that. Especially by guys. They claim they want a good girl, but when there's a chick like me staying true to er standards and morals and especially herself I get no respect or acknowledgement. I honestly do not understand at all. Then complain about the type of woman you deal with. You can't wife a hoe...I'm sorry. So do not look for the ones that'll give it up to you and expect them to be wifey material...smmfh

My Grandfather...

When the person you miss the most in life is also the person you feel loved you the most what do you do? When you burst into tears at the mere thought of the greatest thing you've lost. My grandfather was the most wonderful man I ever had in my life. Despite his alcohol addiction he would treat me as if I was special, important, and loved. To know in my heart that that damn alcohol killed my grandfather is the sole reason for me not drinking, smoking or anything else. I hate it..I hate what it has taken from me. I replay the day of his death so clearly in my head when I can't remember what I did yesterday. It amazes me that I remember that May 14, 2002 so well. I came home from school, turned on the tv and decided to make a sandwich. Bacon, lettuce, and pickles. We had no pickles so I went next door and asked my grandfather if I could use theirs. He let me (of course) and then I gave him a hug and as I left I told him I love him and goodbye. To now realize that I had said goodbye forever is one of the most painful things in my life. A little later my grandmother came over hysterical yelling "there's something wrong with your father!" to my mom over and over. They went next door while me and my sister stayed at our house. We wanted to know what was happening so we agreed that she would go over. She came back and said they wouldn't let her see anything. We looked out the window at the 3 (or 4) firetrucks, ambulences, and police cars infront of our house wondering wtf was going on. Then we saw our grandfather on the stretcher...shaking. I was confused and didn't know what to think. Then my mom, grandmother and uncle told us to sta with our friend down the street til they got back. I was young and figured he'd be fine so I thought nothing of it. When they got back I ran onto the steps and they said my grandfather passed. I laughed at the obsurdity of their statements and went upstairs to get my stuff. For the next two weeks we had non stop visitors...I had NO emotion what so ever. I just knew my grandfather wasn't dead. I was the only one who didn't cry. When the funeral came I was told to write something about him for the program. The service was ok I guess. I saw him in the casket, stared, and cried 2 tears. I hugged him and sat down. I ws seated next to my grandma and she had a spiritual fit. Her cries were deeper than anything I've ever heard in my life. They pushed me aside to console her. After that day I was pretty quiet. Eventually my eotions started to show. I would zone out nd just cry. To this day I cry over my grandfather and think of all he did for me. It isn't fair that the ONE person who ever made you feel worth anything...dies. This is why alcohol, smoking, and drug are my enemy. I will NEVER partake in any of it. They killed my grandfather and stole a whole piece of my heart as well. RIP CHARLES AUGUSTUS PHILLIPS...even though it's hard as hell to know I can't bring you back...I will try not to let you down. I love you more than I ever loved myself.... :(

What is required...

The more I set myself back the more I think about how I'm screwing myself in the future. When people expect me to be this awsome writer I say "I write what I please and I write for me and only me." There's a fine line between your passion and what is required of you. Don't lose your passion because you mixed the two....be yourself for yourself and only take requirements as requirements...

Dreams...Unspoken...

Dreams.....unspoken...unheard,
Clouds and mountains,
Pleasure and pain,
With every elevating step,
Comes sun..and then rain,
Pressure gets tighter as you near the top,
So easy to start,
Even easier to stop,
Never clear skies,
Grey confusion surrounds the positivity of a dream,
You may not see it,
But it's there,
And as you get closer and closer,
God puts down a stair.

Intro...

Aight so I'm new to this blogging thing, but as a very opinionated young black FEMALE journalist...thought I should make one. lol. Basically I'm a young college student trying to pursue her dreams as a radio vj and magazine writer. I like music and writing...a lot. lol...Pretty much I hate FAKE journalists (mediatakeout, sandra rose, tmz, etc.). If you write a story and I know for a FACT you're wrong...I'll get pissed. So I pretty much want to change the game and get facts straight....VIBE is my dream others I can settle for....lol...but yea...I speak a lot of real shyt so if you wanna get the REAL...hit da blog up.